It is amazing to look at your life and see the stages of experiences and friendships. So many times in my life I can honestly look back and say “if xxxx didn’t happen I would not be who I am or where I am today.”
If my mom was not a single parent would I have as much ambition? If I didn’t start playing tennis as an adult would I have ever met my husband? If I didn’t sell Chinese take out would I be in the commercial real estate industry? If my mom didn’t have breast cancer would she be as cool as she is today? If I would not have stopped for gas would I have been in that horrible accident on I-79 south? If I did not see the pink chalk like substance on Remi’s face would she have died?
Every second that goes by is amazing, but I always wonder once I get somewhere, how I got there…
I look at my friendships over the years and watch them come and go. Although some people never change, I see myself and my family constantly growing. I remember the days when all I wanted to do was have fun and I didn’t put much thought into consequence. Now my life revolves around actions and consequences. I watch some of my oldest friendships slither away, not because they are not good friends but because we have journeyed to different places in our lives.
Conversely, these past few years I have realized what a true friend is.
Wikipedia says Friendship is:
Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.
Wow, when you read that definition how many people in your life live up to that description? When you have a question or need a shoulder to cry on or just need someone to listen, where do you go, who can you reach out too?
I spent many hours this summer walking with a friend around the area. We claimed it was for exercise and yes we were walking fast (therefore exercising) but honestly for me, it was much more. We both had someone to listen to, and I had someone to help guide me through some of the most important life changing decisions. What if she didn’t walk with me, what if she wasn’t my confident in the midst of a crisis? Would I have risen to the calling? Did I have the strength and guts to reach out without the inspiration and support of my friend?
I hope and pray that I will always have the ambition and desire to continue my growth along side my children, my husband, family, friends, and neighbors. I have accepted that I will grow into different relationships, but I never want to outgrow being a friend to anyone who needs one.
What if? Yes, I think that often. I do believe that it helps me realize how blessed I am.